THIS WEEK’S RELATIONSHIP SUPPORT TASK: Scan Your Environment For Ways Of Giving Touch
Many years ago I was interested to read about a retail study undertaken to study the affects of touch on shoppers. In a large supermarket chain, one set of check out counter attendants were asked to very lightly touch the customer when giving the receipt/change i.e. even barely touch the persons hand, the other set of check out attendants were told under no circumstances were they to touch the customer during the transaction.
All customers were interviewed after shopping and here are the findings:
Those who where NOT touched, said they
had just done their shopping, it was an indifferent shopping experience
Those who WERE Touched (remember only ever so slightly) reported they
had a very enjoyable shopping experience. The staff were helpful and friendly, the store was warm and inviting. They would deffinately return to shop again, and would tell their friends.
We’re not surprised by this finding, we know from studies done on children: those who gets hugs, who are touched frequently, thrive. Those who receive no touch will regress and become listless. Yet in our personal relationships we often stop touching each other. I’m not talking about sexual touch, I refer to the simplest form of touch. A hand on a loved ones back, shoulder, arm. A gentle kiss on the back of the neck (for no reason). To take a loved ones hand and simply look at it and maybe kiss that hand in admiration, with no agenda whatsoever, I’m warm and glowing just writing about the notion!
Our teens go through a stage of “get off me” – wanting to push us away, as they find their own space and become the wonderful individuals they are. Half child, half adult they see that adults don’t touch and believe it to be the grown-up way. What would it be like to say
I know you don’t need a hug, but I could really use one, if that’s ok with you?
Yes they might say no way, and reject you, but then again, they might be delighted to give you that hug, complaining!! but content to comply in the knowledge that they’re doing the ol man a favour, it’s not something they need!!! We get out of the habit of touching each other, it’s as vital to our happiness as fresh air, and the good news is: if you start today, in little small ways; as you pass a loved one – Scan Your Environment For Ways Of Touching in a non-sexual way, I PROMISE you will begin to feel happier, because in touching your loved one – you make them happy, and that then makes you happy!!! Go on – give it a try, and watch the domino effect it has on your life…….. Please include your partner in this gift that you can give, it’s easy to touch and hug children, show the children what it’s like to have adults around them who aren’t afraid of touch and enjoy.…….
Remember to keep scanning for ways to give validation and appreciation as well.
Let me know how you get on, x K