Feeling Unsupported in following our dreams can be painful and frustrating, leading to self-doubt and decision to give up, we need our loved ones to believe in our ability to succeed. We need encouragement to keep trying as we go after our dreams.
In childhood we grow up with people who deflate dreams, crush ambitions, question motives or abilities. Leaving us with unconscious fears of success; symptoms of anxiety such as obsessive thoughts; difficulty making decisions; social anxiety, fears of rejection and often, depression.
Sharing our dreams can leave us feeling especially vulnerable. And can lead to feelings of fear and loss, reminding us of old feelings of disappointment or deflation. When this happens, what self-protective strategies do you use?
It’s possible to shift negative cycles by becoming aware of our patterns for dealing with the fears, feelings, and strategies that come up for us when we are insecure or self-doubting. For instance sometimes we “undo the good feeling” with self-doubt, obsessions, or worries about what can “go wrong”. It’s not unusual for us to then look for negative people or situations, to connect with, we subconsciously want their negativity to reflect and assure us there was no point going after the dream.
Fragile innermost hopes need positive people, positive situations and positive support for dreams to have any chance.
My friend has a saying I love “Get out of your own way!” – We hold ourselves back based on past expectations e.g. not allowing feelings of confidence or excitement because these same feelings have been crushed in the past. We’re scared of being disappointed, and experts at avoiding things that might hurt us – like getting our hopes up, fear of failure can stop us from doing something new, often the possibility of rejection prevents us from taking emotional risks in a new relationship – but while we avoid the possibility of hurt, we also avoid so much potential joy and satisfaction in the process.
Do you surround yourself with people who support your goals, give you a boost, and leave you feeling better about yourself? If not, maybe now’s a good time to start. Choose wisely!
Daily care of our emotional/mental health is as necessary as daily care of our physical health; GP’s expect to hear about both.
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